


Muscle memory

by orion_killer_of_stars



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: BAMF James T. Kirk, Cannibalism, Flashbacks, Genocide, Survival, Survivor Guilt, Tarsus IV, khan diessssss, lol spoiler, slightly ooc sorry guys, wow jim is f u c k e d up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-12
Updated: 2018-09-12
Packaged: 2019-07-11 06:31:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15966668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orion_killer_of_stars/pseuds/orion_killer_of_stars
Summary: Khan called himself brutal, called himself savage, but Khan was merely a warmonger, a solider. Kirk was a survivor.  And he wasn’t going to die today.(Main character  death is not any of the Enterprise)





	Muscle memory

**Author's Note:**

> Anything in -hyphens- is a flashback, in case it wasn't clear.

Kirk is down, his body heavy and his cheek numb against the black floor of Admiral Marcus’s ship  
\- and god, isn’t that a surprise, a military issue federation ship, goes against everything that makes it the federation-  
and all he can hear is the sharp tones of Khan.   
“Mr Spock,” he asks, and Kirk inwardly laughs at the way he says Mr Spock,   
-because it’s such a human expression with such a weird name, Jesus it sounds like Spock is gonna wear a tux and become a fucking business man-  
and the way Khan just sounds so serious about it too-   
“Mr Spock, give me my crew.” Kirk has to give it to Khan, the unwavering loyalty to his crew, and his efforts to get them back as soon as he possibly can, it’s almost admirable, and something about it twinges deep inside of him, a -yesIunderstandIwoulddothat- that makes him think of Tarsus IV and the deep-driven protection instincts that kept his motley band alive, kept his children alive, whilst everything was trying to kill them.

His hearing is impaired, a ringing noise paired with a slight dizziness he knows means a concussion. But he’s endured worse, fought through worse, and he tunes back into the conversation just in time to hear Khan say, in his cold, sharp, slightly British -why the fuck does he sound British- voice,  
“Shall I destroy you, Mr Spock?”. Which is, completely honestly, the ultimate worse thing he could have said at that moment. All he can think about his Khan’s earlier words “Is there anything you would not do for your family?”. And Kirk already knows the answer. There is nothing. Nothing he wouldn’t do for his Tarsus kids, and now, nothing he wouldn’t do for the Enterprise  
-Tom is speaking, Kevin is speaking,   
“Get up Kirk,” they say, in their young, far too young, voices “Get up and save your crew-  
Khan called himself brutal, called himself savage, but Khan was merely a warmonger, a solider. Kirk was a survivor. And he wasn’t going to die today  
He’s facing a command chair, and with his loose arm, he flings his had forward, nails digging into the hinges. Under every chair, there was a compartment that held a small metal baton, about as long as his forearm. Not an optimum weapon, but it was as good as he would get. He stands and swings. And surprisingly, it's not that different to the last time he did this.  
-The bar is heavy in his small bird-bone arms, thicker than his wrist and twice as strong-   
Instinctively he finds, his first hit had been Khan’s calves  
-His head only reached the guards hip, and his hands were the height of their knee. When he finally steps out of the bushes, the bar he had picked up snaps the joint-  
Khan can’t go anywhere with both legs snapped, regardless of how fast he can heal. And it’s not like Kirk stops swinging to let him.  
-He can’t think about anything but his kids, if this guard gets back to Kodos then the position of their camp is compromised, and-  
Blood hits his face  
-the kids, he can’t let them find the kids-  
Khan’s injuries are healing just as fast as Kirk is inflicting them, a snap of ribs and the crack of bones  
-The guard isn’t moving, but he can’t stop swinging-  
Kirk has gotten stronger since Tarsus, and his body mass is heavier behind swings  
-Kirk steps back and looks at what he’s done-  
What has he done?  
He isn’t aware that he has been beamed back to the Enterprise until he looks up and is greeted with stark white instead of the charcoal black he had been lying on. He stands up straight. The bar is so slick with blood is slips from his fingers, and the noise it makes when it lands makes him jump. He’s skittish, he wants to run, he wants to hide, he’s 14 years old and starving and he wants to go home. He looks down on the body and weeps.

-Kevin finds him stripping the body of weapons. He helps him grab the thick black guns and hidden knives until they can’t carry anything else. They bring them back to camp. They head back, and Kirk starts to dig a hole to bury the mangled body. Kevin, who hasn’t talked for three days coughs, then says  
‘it seems like a waste’ and kirk understands and wishes he didn’t.  
“of life?” he deflects, and he winces at how fake and tinny his voice rings.  
‘of meat’ -

**Author's Note:**

> Woah somehow my love for Tarsus!Jim made him completely ooc and overpowered.. does anyone else do this? where you love a character so much you have to make them the bestest strongest character 4evr!! and it completely ruins your writing of said character.


End file.
